


Losing My Religion

by shelbzzz_xo



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Professors, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Alternate Universe - Star Wars Fusion, Bisexual Male Character, Classroom Sex, Double Life, F/M, Older Man/Younger Woman, Secret Relationship, Taboo, Tattoos, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:53:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25997059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shelbzzz_xo/pseuds/shelbzzz_xo
Summary: Rey Johnson is a sophomore at the University of Pennsylvania with a crush on her super hot English professor, Ben Solo. Her best friends (and everyone on campus, it seems) are obsessed with this new band Knights of Ren. She doesn't understand the hype, other than the lead singer, Kylo Ren, is stunningly gorgeous in all his punk rock glory. What Rey doesn't know is her hot professor Ben Solo and the sexy Kylo Ren are one in the same.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Rose Tico, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 8
Kudos: 35





	1. Intro

_Are you taking notes or doodling hearts and his name?_  
Rey snuck a peek at her Apple Watch to read the text, and shot a glare at the sender, her friend Poe, in the desk beside hers. He puckered his lips in a kissy face and chuckled as she rolled her eyes. Rey was used to being teased by him in their shared English II lecture, ever since he figured out she nursed a small crush on their professor. Honestly, she probably wasn’t alone in that. Professor Ben Solo was a total smoke show- black wavy tendrils of hair tucked behind his adorably large ears, moles scattered across the plains of his face like constellations, lips plump, plush, and pink, begging to be kissed. _Focus, Rey, on something that isn’t lusting after your teacher-the lesson, maybe?_  
“That’s all I’ve got for today, folks” sighs Ben Solo, signaling the end of lecture. “The first draft of your papers will be due next class. Email me if you have any questions or need help getting started. You know my office hours. Oh, and the workbook pages!”  
The class begins their exit as he shoves papers in his leather portfolio. Rey throws her bag over her shoulder and joins Poe on his walk out the door.  
“Wait, shit, did he say homework?”  
Poe smirked. “So you were thinking about extra curricular activities with Solo!”  
Rey gave a playful yet hearty shove to his shoulder, knocking him off balance. “I don’t know why I even talk about anything in that class with you.”  
“Because you looovvve me. And yes, questions 1-10 on page 217 in the workbook, in addition to whatever you’re writing about for your essay. Did you even understand the prompt, anyway? Like, are we all writing about hardships here? All of college is hard, Solo. Your prompt is unoriginal and everyone is going to tell the tale of how getting black out drunk changed their path or whatever. Most will probably be cranked out mid-hangover.” 

“You have the gist of it, I suppose,” started Rey. “But it’s not so simplistic. He wants us to recount a setback we faced that impacted every aspect of our lives, not just academically.”  
The creative wheels were already spinning in her brain. The second she read the prompt, she knew her subject: Maz. Rey was adopted at the age of 6 by Maz, a precious older woman that raised her as her own flesh and blood, even if she did register more as a grandma figure in her eyes. Rey grew up surrounded by love thanks to someone who stepped in to mother the motherless. Her essay could start with her adoption story, segway into how even though she was thankful for a caretaker, how she was so young and already roles were reversing due to Maz’s age, how moving away to college increased her anxiety wondering how her mother was doing alone, how…

“Well, I still hate it. Maybe I’ll write about the pathetic life of a stunning bisexual-me-who has his pick of the student body but they’re all garbage human beings.” Rey’s eyebrows shifted upwards at the same time her lips parted to contradict Poe’s statement when he finished “THIS OF COURSE does NOT include my glorious boyfriend. But you could write about how hard it is to focus in class with such a hard on for your professor.”  
“I swear to God and all things holy, I will pummel your ass into the ground if I have to continue to endure your bullshit on this subject. Are we waiting for Rose to pick us up or walking home?”  
“I’m walking, if you care to join me and my bullshit.”  
Rey stood solemnly, pretending to weigh her options before joining his side. She and Poe had briefly dated a little over a year ago after meeting during a University of Pennsylvania campus tour. His charm and wit stole her away from Maz’s side, and freshly 18 year old Rey was captivated by his older college boy aura. Making out behind a pillar and being caught by the only Professor Solo on campus at the time, Professor Han, turned into a texting relationship. She would occasionally skip first period during the last semester of high school to skulk about the coffee shop Poe worked at near campus. It was all short lived, ending after the first party they attended together Rey’s freshman year. His life of the party personality and her tenacious focus on academia, they decided, would be better bonded in friendship. It only took two parties after that for Poe to drunkenly spit swap with Finn, his now boyfriend. BFF Poe was less dreamy in Rey’s eyes-always offering a sarcastic comment, inserting himself anywhere he pleases, arrogance by the boatload with charisma that makes him just annoying enough to be considered popular. Nonetheless, she loved him, and would suffer his jabs forever, because he was a pretty great friend otherwise.  
The pair trekked just over a mile before arriving at the apartment they called home. Inside the bright yellow door was Rose, Rey’s first year dorm mate turned best friend. The two signed the lease for the apartment as soon as freshman year was done and spent that summer making the place their own-reupholstered bar stools with fabric from Maz’s old dresses, a plush white couch they counted pennies for, furry rugs that looked expensive and posh but were found at Goodwill. It’s important to note that the girls were the only names on the lease, yet Poe, Finn, and Armitage, Rose’s boyfriend, all seemed to call it home as well. Rey wasn’t as outgoing and bubbly as her sidekick, but she didn’t mind the constant company as long as the toilet seat stayed down, and her cereal box stayed full.   
Rose looked up from her laptop and brightly smiled at them, the cutest welcome committee of one Pennsylvania had ever seen.   
“Hey guys! I’m glad you’re home, I was just about to text the group about dinner.”   
“It’s barely even 5 pm” countered Poe.   
Rose scowled at the attempt to dampen her gesture. “Some would consider that an evening hour appropriate for dinner consumption, hmm?” Poe swept her into a bear hug she pretended to wriggle her way out of while Rey placed her laptop next to her friend’s on the counter. In doing so, she noticed the scary-looking home page of a band site on the screen. It reminded her of pre 2010s Hot Topic, back when it was scary emo and not hipster emo. Black sheathed down the webpage in daggers that somehow also resembled wet paint. The only other color on the screen was red block letters across the top.  
“What on earth are you researching now, woman?” chuckled Rey, gesturing to the goth vomit before her. Rose popped her head over Poe’s bicep still trying to hold her against her will to answer.  
“OMG, it’s this band you HAVE to check out, Knights of Ren.”  
“Yeah, something tells me I’m not going to be into whatever they’re infecting the music pool with.”  
“I thought the same thing, but I promise you it’s not what you’re expecting. Yeah they’re pop punk I guess, but they have some acoustic songs that will melt your heart. The melodies are insane, all of them.”  
Poe chimed in “not to mention, the lead singer is sexy as hell and could get it any day of the week, twice on Sundays.” Rose gave him a single finger gun in agreement.  
Rey scanned the page more apprehensively as she scrolled to their band photos. “Who, him? This man wearing eyeliner and jeans tight enough to leave nothing to the imagination?” Her friends continued fangirling while she cycled through the albums.  
“Do not mock Kylo Ren, my darling Rey!”   
She finally met Rose’s gaze for the first time since spiraling down the band’s rabbit hole of a website. “Not mocking, I see the appeal. I still don’t think I’ll like them though.”   
Rose couldn’t even contribute a counterargument before Poe was blaring a heavy guitar riff through his bluetooth speaker. Rey winced but gave it a shot, knowing it had to be the band in question. The beat was nice, the lyrics meaningful, but nothing that impacted her the way it seemed to grab her friends, who were head banging and jumping in the kitchen like raging lunatics. The tune faded into silence as Rose caught her breath.  
“So? Whatcha think?” Rey already knew the reaction she’d get as soon as the “meh” rolled off her tongue. Poe’s sass was the first to take a spin.  
“You’re ridiculous. I think you’re the only person on campus who isn’t enamored with them.”  
“Aren’t we being a touch dramatic here? All of campus? I had never even heard their name before 5 minutes ago.”  
Rose began pulling ingredients out of the fridge and pantry to start dinner preparations, not waiting on the group to decide what they wanted, apparently. “Poe is always dramatic, but he might not be wrong here.” She paused for his obnoxiously boisterous “HAH,” which always followed a comment where his ego was even slightly stroked. “They’re newer to the scene but their popularity has skyrocketed overnight it feels like. They’re a hot commodity. I was on their site to see if tour dates had been posted yet because I HAVE to get tickets. Promise me you’ll go with me, even if you hate it?”  
Rey snickered at the audacity of the comment. Had it come from anyone else, she definitely would’ve told them where they could shove their tickets and terrible plans. But for Rose and Poe, nothing was too incredulous an offer.  
“I suppose, IF you can even snag tickets since they’re sooo popular, I would be willing to tag along.” Rose emitted a high pitched squeal.  
“I love you, Rey Johnson, never forget it! I’ll even do your makeup like Kylo’s for the show.” A mischievous wink and she was back to her stovetop preparations. Rey yet again scrolled through the photo albums on their homepage and made a mental note of the name Kylo Ren. She would definitely be stalking his socials later. Friendship wasn’t the only incentivising factor for going to a Knights of Ren concert.


	2. Morning Moments

Rey stood in a classroom devoid of students, inches away from professor Solo, close enough to feel electricity coursing through her veins. He loomed over her tiny frame, neck craning downward to meet her gaze. The intensity with which he did so made her wonder if he could read her mind the same way he seemed to be interpreting her body language. Ben’s eyes darted between hers and her lips, occasionally skimming the swell of her breasts as she unconsciously arched towards him in welcome. His fingers twitched as he clenched and unclenched his fists at his sides contemplating whether or not to touch her, deciding to break the silence instead.

“What are you thinking about?” Rey broke eye contact to stare at her shoes while butterflies swarmed her stomach, trying to decide if she should answer him honestly. She chuckled breathily, returned his questioning gaze, and replied “honestly? Hedonism.”

A throaty growl crawled its way out of Ben as he swung an arm around her waist and pulled her towards him, slamming his lips to hers. Rey felt the sharp edge of his desk on the backs of her thighs seconds later. He laid her on top of the previously neat stack of papers, hovering over her body and furiously unfastening her shirt buttons. Rey snaked a hand into the black waves of his hair. This turned Ben’s attention to her neck, caressing and nibbling the exposed skin as she dug her fingers into his scalp. Her free hand reached for his belt buckle when-

“Rey, are you up?” She pried an eye open to address whoever interrupted her slumber from down under. Finn’s warm brown face entered her vision as she begrudgingly sat herself up in bed. Nothing like a wet dream about your professor to get your blood pumping in the morning. That, and the cup of coffee her friend extended.

Finn knew exactly how Rey took her coffee-a touch more than average hazelnut creamer, two sugar packets. He also knew she worked at a coffee shop and would be heading there for her shift soon, where she’d undoubtedly knock back another cup of joe or two, but this didn’t deter him. Finn and Rose were the only two of the bunch brave enough to take early morning classes, which gave them a solid period of time before everyone else got their day going to chit chat, drink some coffee, and catch up on the news. Finn replaced Rey’s alarm on nights he slept over because he never failed to wake her up right on time, hand her her jolt, and converse with her just enough to wipe away the drowsiness. She was his second stop though; the first being Poe, who always takes coffee black (like his soul, he jokes) and receives a forehead kiss from his dashing boyfriend. Rey unclenched her jaw and wiped the sleep from her eyes with her free hand.

“Thank you, dearie.” Smile. Sip. “How was class?”

“Quiz day, so, stressful, but I think I did okay.”

Rey rolled her eyes. “You always do okay. Some would even call it excellent, considering you’ve never averaged anything below a B.”

“You’re too kind to me.” Finn took a sip of his coffee before continuing. “What about you, how are your classes?”

“I’m sure Poe has told you all about the essay for Solo’s.”

“Oh has he. I think your interpretation of the prompt will come with far less expletives though.” The pair laughed and discussed Rey’s idea of writing her paper on Maz. Finn was a year above Rey and Rose, so he had the insight they needed when navigating coursework. He took the same English class with the previous professor Solo on campus-Ben’s dad, Han Solo. Han was a staple at UPenn, having attended there when he was of age and meeting the love of his life, Leia Organa during those days. He went on to teach there with his wife, now known to the student body as Dean Organa. Unfortunately Han fell ill and died within a matter of months. The campus felt the impact of his loss deeply. His son stepping into his shoes was all anyone could talk about when news started circulating.

“How is new Solo? I’m sure he’s no Han, but is he a decent teacher at least?”

Rey’s brain betrayed her by replaying scenes from her dream at the mere mention of his name. Clearing her throat, she responded “yeah, he’s great, actually. Really engages the class. He doesn’t just drone on from a PowerPoint a million other professors have used before, ya know? He makes it interesting. I mean, hell, he gets Poe to listen.”

“No small feat indeed” agreed Finn. Having finished her coffee, Rey climbed out of bed to start getting ready for work. Finn returned to the kitchen with their mugs as she got dressed. She could only wiggle her butt into some skinny jeans before a shriek pierced through her at a pitch only dogs could hear. Fastening the button of her pants, she flung the bedroom door open to see what was going on, only to discover Rose and Poe moving in weird patterns she assumed were meant to be dance moves.

“What on Earth?!” Rose threw her hands in the air.

“Tickets for Knights of Ren went on sale this morning and WE GOT THEM!”

Finn, previously unnerved by even the screams, joined in their happy dancing after letting out his own shouts of excitement. Seeing her friends in such a state over the band made Rey’s heart swell. She knew she was going to be dragged along to a show she truly couldn’t care less about attending, but even so, in this moment, she was honored to share in the bliss.

“Pull out your fishnets and high tops, bitches, we’re gonna rock this shit!” shouted Poe. Rey laughed as she halfheartedly contributed a cross between jazz hands and the wave. Maybe she could learn to love Knights of Ren for more than their sexy lead singer.

\-------------------------

Ben Solo placed his cellphone on his desk and waited anxiously for it to light up. He was sitting alone in his classroom during his office hours, lights out, probably looking suspicious as hell if anyone were to peer in. Luckily, his mother was the dean, and she knew exactly what he was up to. The standard issue classroom wall clock ticked by slower than he thought time was capable of moving. 10 a.m. He chewed his bottom lip, his fingernails, anything to distract him from the waiting. It was 10:03 when his phone buzzed to life.

“Yes?”

“Ben, BEN!” His friend Karina Phasma practically screamed into his earpiece. “This is technically Lando’s call, but he rang me first, so I get to beat him to the punch. We sold out in two minutes! Two freaking minutes!”

Ben’s head felt fuzzy as he processed the news, still hearing Karina chatter on and their manager Lando’s mumbles in the background. This was the first tour his band, Knights of Ren, had been big enough of a name to draw a crowd. The fact that what he considered a major success, their stream numbers increasing tenfold from this time last year, led to selling out shows in under two minutes absolutely floored him. Ben had loved music as long as he could remember. His mom sang him a lullaby every night of his childhood when tucking him in. Every Mother’s Day, he played her a rendition of the same song, be it on plastic instruments from the local supermarket or pots and pans. He eventually graduated to real instruments and found he had real talent. Knights of Ren was formed by him and his former girlfriend, none other than Karina herself, whom he mostly referred to as her last name, Phasma. The pair maintained their friendship post breakup and found they had chemistry, but in the music. Ben grew up with teachers for parents and knew pursuing music wouldn’t be their career choice for him. If he was being honest, it wasn’t his, either. He finished up his master’s degree in literature to join the family lineage of professors, not knowing his turn would be in place of his father after he died. In a way though, his dad’s passing solidified his choice of following their educational path. Being able to help his mom while staying close to her, emotionally and physically, was the least he could do, he felt. Him and Leia agreed upon the conditions of the job, the major one being that only they would know that he, Ben Solo, took the stage under the name Kylo Ren. No one was expecting the band to take off like it did, especially in such a short time span, least of all Ben.

“Are you in shock over there? Because SAME but at least I use my big girl words.” Phasma’s comment brought him back into reality.

“Yeah, sorry, just taking it all in. We really freaking did it, didn’t we?!”

“Hell yeah we did! God, this is so exciting! Okay, I’m gonna let you go now so you can run and tell mommy how famous her son is about to be. See you tonight at practice.” 

The phone clicked as Ben snickered to himself. He was going to be playing sold out shows in just a couple of weeks. And yes, he was going straight down the hall to tell his mom.


	3. Two Creams, One Sugar

It was Thursday morning, the very morning Rey had found out her friends had scored Knights of Ren tickets. They’d finished up their happy dances and resumed preparing for what was sure to be a mundane day in comparison. Rey was still indifferent about the band’s music but decided she’d better give them another chance, considering she would be in a throng of headbangers in two weeks’ time, and didn’t want to ruin her friends’ fun. Her drive to work was full of window-rattling bass, whining guitars, and strong yet melodic chants from the only member she knew-Kylo Ren, the lead singer. She thumped her fingers against the steering wheel to imitate the drum line. It wasn’t that she hated it. In all honesty, some of the songs were good enough that she’d willingly listen to them again, but it just wasn’t her favorite genre in the world. She whipped her dingy Corolla into a parking space and cut the engine.

Working at the coffee shop was a pretty decent gig. Sure, there were customers deserving of having their coffee thrown at them instead of handed to them, but other than the occasional Karen and the blisters from being on your feet all day, it was quite enjoyable. Rey worked there on mornings she had afternoon classes, plus a weekend shift here and there. Poe also took up employment there so he would like at least one of his coworkers. Thursday mornings, however, were not one of the shifts they worked together. Rey would be inhaling mocha and hazelnut fumes alone for hours. She tried to push that thought to the back of her mind as she tied the third knot in her apron and took her place behind the register.

The shop was dead as a door nail this morning. The drive thru attendants looked like they were backed up, so Rey pitched in by brewing some backup jolts and getting their whipped cream toppings ready for them, then resumed her post. A mother sat with her little girl who couldn’t have been older than six, kicking her legs and sipping what Rey prayed was a cream based frappuccino. A student had set up camp at another table, staring intensely at his laptop, fiddling with his headphone cord. Minutes dragged by like hours. Deciding she needed to at least try to do something productive, Rey went to the back room to restock supplies. She forgot about the front counter until her coworker hollered for her attention.

“Rey, are you back there? Someone is at the register and I’m going on my 15.”

She sighed, used the hand sanitizer station next to the door, and exited.

“Sorry about your wait!”she called out to the patron. “What can I get started for you?”

Her eyes finally met the ones in front of her, and she swallowed the gasp that threatened to expose the emotion behind it. There stood professor Ben Solo in all his glory. He was clothed in black dress pants with a tight white button up tucked into the waist. The black waves of hair that he usually kept pushed behind his ears hung near his chin, a curtain of sex appeal framing the jawline that could slice someone in half. His studious glasses found their resting spot against his chest in the nook of his first two undone buttons. The professor vibes were still there, but the casual appeal was making Rey’s heart race. She swallowed hard before attempting to speak again.

“Oh, Professor Solo! Nice seeing you here.”

His jagged canines made an appearance as his face cracked with a smile. “Good morning, Miss Johnson. Small world we live in. Should I take this to mean you’ll be absent in class this afternoon?”

“Hmm? Oh, no, I work mornings before my afternoon lectures. I’ll be off at 2.” _He doesn’t care. He’s not asking when you’re free, you absolute moron._

“Ah, I see. Just checking. I’m sure working at a coffee shop gives you access to all the caffeine needed to work on assignments, like papers, maybe?” He cocked his eyebrow and his top lip followed suit ever so slightly as he chuckled at his own inquisition.

Rey laughed harder than intended. “Yeah, things like papers. I promise I won’t bore you with subject matter, though my sentence structure may need work in the second draft.”

“That’s what first drafts are for. People tend to forget that.”

The two exchanged brief smiles before Rey brought up the subject at hand. “So, I believe you came here for coffee.”

“You’re correct! I’ll take a medium vanilla, hot, please.”

Rey rattled off his total and watched his fingers methodically retrieve the cash from his wallet. She had never seen nearly perfectly smoothed bills before. Most people threw her crumpled Washingtons, but not Solo. Every piece of cash in his billfold was neatly stacked together and organized by amount in the square pocket. The change pouch was filled just enough to not bulge and ruin the leather. She wondered if the inside of his brain was just as neat and tidy, and secretly hoped not. Picking up the cup to write his name on, he interrupted her-

“Also, just Ben is fine-for the cup and for you. Professor Solo still feels like my dad’s title, not mine. I don’t mind just being Ben.”

Rey tried to hide the blush creeping onto her cheeks. “Just Ben, then.” She began scribbling the three letters onto the paper cup just above the sleeve, making sure her handwriting was impeccable. The e looped effortlessly into the n like she had done it a million times before. Despite Poe’s teasing, she actually had never scribbled his name in hearts during lecture. Since the shop was so slow, she went ahead and began pouring his drink.

“Forgive me if this is an overstep, but how are things as the new Professor Solo on campus? Your dad was kind of a legend.”

Ben fiddled with the tip jar while he considered the question. “That he was. Things are...interesting, I guess is the word for it. I feel as though everyone is waiting for me to screw up and prove myself unworthy of the position, or the surname.”

“Not that my opinion matters, but I think you’re doing great. I mean I’ve always loved English, but you make it more interesting than most. I don’t dread going to class when it’s yours.” Worrying she had officially made it awkward, Rey added “again, sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.”

She handed him the cup and for the briefest of seconds, their fingers grazed. It was unintentional but significant. Her tiny hands barely made it around half the circumference of the cup, but his engulfed it with ease. Despite their size, they weren’t rugged-they were picturesque. Rey felt the liquid heat spreading from her hands to her chest, swirling in her lungs and sending lightning bolts to her stomach, all over a touch that didn’t even deserve that title. She hadn’t noticed Ben was staring at their drink exchange too until she caught the movement of his head back up to meet her eyes.

“No overstep. I’m glad you’re enjoying the class. It’s a relief to hear that, actually.” The pair shared a sheepish smile before Ben nodded to signal his departure. “Well, I’m looking forward to reading your paper. I won’t loiter too long in here, but I do need to get some grading done. Thanks again for the coffee.”

He was...staying? How on Earth was Rey supposed to get any work done with him just sitting there, when every time they made eye contact, she felt as though she could dissolve into the floor? He stopped at the sweetener station before settling on a table. Rey committed how he took his coffee to memory-two creams, one sugar, wooden stirrer spun in a large circle around the rim of the liquid to start, then continued getting smaller as it met the middle.The double tap to rid it of excess liquid so it wouldn’t drip as he transferred it from the cup to the trash. The smallest swig to taste his creation. The way his hand encompassed the lid like a clawed crane gently sealing it around the top. It all felt sensual to watch. Even then, she couldn’t stop looking at him like he alone could create world peace. Ben set up his laptop and began clicking away. Thankfully the shop started picking up so Rey would have a distraction from ogling her teacher. She still managed to sneak Poe a quick text from beneath the counter.

_SOS RED ALERT—PROFESSOR SOLO IS AT THE COFFEE SHOP AND ASKED ME TO CALL HIM BEN AND I AM ALONE AND THIS IS SOMEHOW YOUR FAULT._

Poe shot back heart emojis and _use those C cups to get that D and that A+ gurl! He’s an English teacher, he’ll get that._

Rey was cleaning off a table suspiciously close to Ben when she took note of his laptop screen. It only took a couple seconds for her to register that he was no longer doing anything related to academia, and instead was scrolling the Knights of Ren webpage. Before she could stop herself or think about the potential boundary she was crossing, she pulled out the empty chair from his table and plopped herself down, elbows resting cutely just within his reach.

“Please tell me you’re not searching for tickets to their show here” she began. “My friends are OBSESSED and are dragging me along.”

Ben snickered as he closed the lid to his device. “No, just thought I’d research who this Kites With Friends band is that my students keep talking about instead of the material. I take it you’re not a fan?”

Rey fidgeted with an invisible dust bunny she was flicking away. Were they really discussing bands now? “I’m sorry, what on Earth did you just call them? I’ll keep your secret, but that was a very boomer response.”

“You didn’t answer my question.” His eyes seemed darker somehow.

“It’s not a matter of liking them. I like them just fine, I suppose. They’re just...not my thing, I guess.”

“And what is your thing, exactly?” Silence and staring until Ben ended the suspense. “Sorry, redacted. That was unprofessional of me to ask.”

Rey stole a glance over to the doors and noticed an incoming gaggle of teenagers who probably wanted skinny mochas with no foam but extra chocolate shavings. Poe’s text flew to the forefront of her mind as she debated her potential responses. She had approximately 15 seconds before she had to return behind the counter. Her eyes flickered back to Ben as she replied in an equally quirky way-

“Then I suppose it’s also unprofessional for me to say the thing keeping me interested is how incredibly sexy the lead singer is.” Rey tossed what she hoped was a wink over her shoulder as she sauntered away. Ben’s eyes could’ve bulged out of his head, but he kept his cool, despite the twitching in his pants from the comment. Rey had no idea that she had just admitted her attraction for her professor to his face via lust for one Kylo Ren, because only he knew that the two were one.


	4. Crop Top Feminism

Ben anxiously watched the minutes tick by for the second time today. The first instance he had felt the weight of his band’s success or failure on his shoulders, quickly diminished after the phone call telling him tickets had sold out in two minutes. This new weight was entirely different. It strangled his lungs. It made him stumble over words-not a good look for an English professor. The weight was less on his shoulders and more on his zipper, feeling his dick struggle against the fabric restraining it. He wouldn’t even be in this predicament if he had chosen a different damn coffee shop to grade papers at. But no, he had run into a student-a very intelligent student-a very attractive student-a student with a seductive vocabulary and sultry tongue-and learned of her secret infatuation for one Kylo Ren. He’d never let her in on the fact that a wardrobe change and visit to hair and makeup would turn him into that very man, but oh how he considered slipping up, just this once, like she had when confiding this in a teacher.  
That’s another thing he tried not to focus on, that Rey had told him in the first place. He suspected students swapped lewd conversation pieces when off campus, or even just out of earshot. But she had told him, her professor, how sexy she found this band member, and her comfort in doing so sent shivers down his spine. Was this flirting? It had been so long since Ben had been hit on or done the hitting so he truly wasn’t sure. Should he take her comment as an interest in his Professor Solo persona too? Was she purposely planting sex appeal in his brain so he’d have no option but to get hard every time he replayed their conversation, or thought of her, or tasted vanilla coffee…  
Each moment that wasn’t 3 o’clock was spent stressing over what 3 o’clock would bring. Rey would be walking through the doors of his classroom around 2:58, a tardy earliness he now knew was due to her job. He knew she would pull out whatever assignments were due so she wouldn’t have to shuffle through her bag when he announced to the class he was collecting. She would have a pen or pencil at the ready as well as her notebook. She’d make this two minute procedure of hers look like a choreographed dance, and he had been at every rehearsal. It wasn’t until this moment he realized maybe he had been watching her a little too intently to be considered teacherly observation.  
Nameless and faceless students traipsed in and out of his room until a familiar blur of brunette and Wonderstruck perfume took its seat in front of him. Rey was in a white t-shirt that outlined the cups of her bra (he imagined) and danced ever so slightly above the waistband of her jeans. A band of pale skin gleamed proudly where the clothing couldn’t quite meet. Ben recognized the black and white Converse hightops as the same ones she strolled through the coffee shop in. Her hair was still in a bun, but more put together; purposefully messy. Stray strands fell to frame her face as if it needed anything to bring attention to it at all. He was admiring the perfection of her Cupid’s bow when she looked up and met his gaze. Ben offered her a sheepish smile before fake fiddling with papers on his desk so as to not get sent to his own mother’s office for harassment.  
Poe slid into the desk next to Rey and threw his bag in between them. He was out of breath but huffing out conversation nevertheless.  
“Okay, I know I bitched about this essay thing, but I think I did pretty well. Turns out the bisexual angle wasn’t so far off.”  
“So what you’re saying is Finn wrote it?”  
“No, but I’m not saying he didn’t supervise and assist.”  
Rey smirked then sighed. “Well, I’m glad one of us can write. I cranked something out, but it was a lot more difficult to articulate than I anticipated. Thank God it’s only a first draft though and not the final grade.”  
“Whatever. I’m sure it’s great. Even if it somehow isn’t, I’m sure you’d be chomping at the bit to geek out over syntax with Solo.”  
The comment sent a flush to Rey’s cheeks. She nibbled her bottom lip as she returned “I actually think I might ask him for help.”  
“What, wearing that?!” Poe gestured to her crop top. “Was this planned? Do you need someone to critique your paper or your head game?”  
Rey opened her mouth in rebuttal but Ben’s voice brought their attention to him. He tucked a tendril of hair behind his ear, which exposed another beauty mark or two previously hidden. Rey’s heart pounded every time he did something trivial like that.  
“Good afternoon, class. Fair warning, if things go according to plan, we’ll be out of here before the allotted two hours. That being said, I’ll go ahead and collect your papers if you’ll have them on your desks for me.”  
Rey slid the stapled draft to the front of the wooden slab she sat behind while others searched for theirs in bags and folders. Surprisingly, Poe also had his ready to hand in right away. Ben headed towards them while Poe wiggled his eyebrows and Rey pointed hers in warning. She didn’t put it past him to make some comment that would leave her blushing the rest of class.  
“Thank you, Miss Johnson. I see you were able to escape the caffeine-deprived mongrels intact.”  
Rey was overwhelmingly aware of her friend’s eyes boggling but also cutting into her skin like daggers. Instead of addressing them, she let out a shy chuckle. “That they did! One complicated caramel concoction nearly bested me, but here I am.”  
“I’m glad to hear that.” Ben’s usual tight, friendly but reserved smile lifted into a toothy one. His canines were sharp enough to rip someone’s throat out with a single bite. They were the things of goth fantasies, permanent vampire fangs that Rey wondered if they’d ever drawn blood by skimming the delicate skin on his lip, or if they’d ever wanted to try on someone else’s…  
“What’s your order, Solo?” Poe interrupted Rey’s rabbit hole of sex fantasies. “I work at the coffee shop too. I’ll make sure she knows it by heart so you don’t have to waste time in line.”  
“I think I’ve got that under control” Rey responded through semi-gritted teeth.  
Ben coughed either in nervousness or embarrassment, she couldn’t decipher which. “Well, it’s a pretty simple drink. You two could probably make it in your sleep, seriously. No memorization required.” He grabbed Poe’s paper and slid it on top of Rey’s.  
Poe knew he was getting a rise out of his counterpart that she wasn’t brazen enough to put a stop to in front of the professor. He knew it, she knew it, and at this point, even Ben was sensing the underlying tension.  
“You’re right, she’s pretty eager to learn. Makes her a great student and barista, among other things.” The tongue-in-cheek smirk that followed that comment was sure to earn him some hostility the rest of the day, but Poe decided it was worth it to watch Rey turn blood red. Solo pinked up a touch at the comment as well, smiled, then walked off to collect more essays. Rey saw the red but focused on the white, which is the color her knuckles were turning clutching the side of her desk for dear life. She was afraid that if she let go, she might give Poe a bloody nose.  
“Okay, what the ACTUAL FUCK was-“  
“Yell at me later. You only told me he appeared at the shop, but apparently something happened or you two talked or something because he was sizing you up when I walked in here. You explain that.”  
“He came in to grade papers, it’s as simple as that. We were slow so we got to exchange more than pleasantries. It’s not a thing.”  
“I would believe that if you both weren’t blushing like buffoons just then. What, did you spill something on him? Draw a heart on his cup? Get caught staring?”  
Rey shook off the rest of the anger that threatened violence and channeled the one that laced acid in every word she spoke so they’d seethe with it. “NO, I- if you must know, I caught a glimpse of his laptop screen and he was looking at the Knights of Ren site.”  
“So he has a thing for a band everyone is obsessed with. What does that have to do with-“  
“I told him I thought Kylo Ren was sexy.” She buried her face in her hands as soon as she said it. She had lost track of where Professor Solo was in the room, so the fear that he might overhear her rehashing this to someone was imminent. If only she had two more hands to cover her ears with to drown out Poe’s shocked laughter.  
“You little minx! Did you just throw that into the conversation or what?”  
Rey shook her head. “No, you imbecile, I didn’t go off the deep end. I asked if he liked them and he asked why I don’t. He thought he overstepped a student/teacher boundary so I stepped over it for him, because his serious voice combined with how he was looking at me made me want to melt into the floor. Does this satisfy you?”  
The smirk returned to Poe’s face. His silence, however, left Rey on edge. He gestured to her outfit again and replied “so that’s what the crop top to class is all about? Picking up where you left off?”  
She contemplated the question. If she said no, he would accuse her of lying, and he would be correct. Crop tops weren’t out of Rey’s closet rotation, per se, but she’d never considered wearing one to class before this afternoon. It wouldn’t hurt to get some wandering eyes on her midriff to boost her ego. If one set of those eyes belonged to her professor, so be it.  
“You’re not saying anything because I’m right,” Poe resumed. “I’m just sad I’ll never see a confident flirty Rey with Solo in the flesh.”  
In that moment, the corner of Rey’s eye caught on a mole attached to a jawline that made her knees buckle, and knew it was Solo. Maybe it was the crop top energy or wanting to prove herself to Poe, but she gave a wink to her friend and said “watch me.”  
Professor Solo edged closer to his starting point for collections. “Ben?”  
Rey swore she saw his ears perk up like a dog. He took three steps towards her, and with his stature, that was all that was needed to close the distance between the desk he was at and arriving at hers.  
“Yes, Miss Johnson?”  
“This may be a bit premature, but I really felt I struggled with the essay writing.”  
Ben’s brows knitted together. “Well, don’t sell yourself short. Like I was saying, it’s just a first draft.”  
“For sure. I just think I’m having trouble deciding which direction I want to go with it. Do you think that once you read everyone’s papers I could get some feedback and advice on where to take it?”  
“Definitely, definitely. Um, well, you have my office hours. I’ll try to read yours sometime today so I can have it in my head. Shoot me an email with a time that works for you.” The nervous stumbling and repetition was sending off fireworks in Rey’s stomach.  
“Perfect! Thank you so much.” With a nod of his head and a grin, Solo traipsed back over to his desk to compile the paperwork. He began writing on the board in colorful Expo markers, and Poe took his back being turned as an invitation to pry.  
“Did you just call him Ben?!” Rey fluttered her eyelashes cartoonishly. Poe laughed and started heading his notes with whatever title Ben was throwing on the board. “I’m never missing another shift again.”  
Rey smiled despite herself and wondered what mess she was creating. For now, she would just enjoy ogling the perfectly sculpted god before her-the one whom she was allowed to call Ben.


	5. He Say She Say Essay

Class seemed to be both creeping by and speeding, on this the day of Rey’s rebellious continued flirting with a professor. Twice in one day-she would be proud of herself if she weren’t aware this was now a pattern, repeated behavior, something she most definitely could not take back and could get in serious trouble for, but also could not give one shit less. She also couldn’t tell if this gave Poe more or less ammunition to mess with her in regards to Solo. Nevertheless, his googly eyes and smirks persisted through the remainder of class, which let out 20 minutes earlier than usual. Ben dismissed the students and the rustling of papers and forced backpack zippers rang through the air.   
“Now, make sure you get up reeaalll smooth and sultry; give him something to look at” remarked Poe. Rey used her free hand to flick him off before standing. “What? I’m just trying to help you out, Miss Thang.”   
“There’s no help in that sentiment at all and you know it.” To anyone else, it probably sounded like all these two did was fight-which, to be fair, wouldn’t be incorrect. Their friendship was composed of banter that sounded insulting, and at times was meant genuinely, but was all in jest. Their sarcasm and attitudes meshed well enough to fight back without inflicting real wounds. Rey knew Poe teased her about her crush because she would do the exact same to him. This was how they showed their love; by bickering incessantly.   
Rey pulled her shirt down to its proper length (still too short to cover her midriff) and planned to follow Poe right out the door when-  
“Miss Johnson? Could I talk to you a sec before you leave?”   
The voice, deep and smooth as honey, made her body feel warm all over. She heard the squeak of Poe’s sneakers as he halted and did a complete 180 to stare at her in disbelief. She was thankful for the whisper he uttered the next words in.   
“Well, don’t slow your roll now, cupcake. Back your shit up. Show him you can put your thang down, flip it, and reverse it.”   
Rey rolled her eyes as she gently shoved his bicep towards the door. “It’s about my paper, moron. You go on ahead and tell Rose I’ll be home shortly so don’t eat without me.”   
“Well, you don’t get eaten without telling me when you get home.”   
“Fucking go already!”   
Poe wiggled his fingers and sweetly yet LOUDLY proclaimed “byyyeeee Reeeyyyy” while walking out the door. Rey held the door open for two stragglers also heading out, then stepped over to Ben’s desk. He leaned back in his chair but caught himself before the force rolled it any further. Rey smoothed her shirt nervously for the third time since she faced him. This was no time to be nervous. If she was going to talk the talk, she had to walk the walk. Does anyone use that phrase anymore? She was losing touch with more than reality it seemed.   
“You wanted to see me?”   
“Yes, thanks for staying. I went ahead and read your paper while you all were working today. You said something about wanting notes?”  
“Yeah, I just felt a little scatterbrained writing it, like I couldn’t pick a key point. I didn’t mean to force you to read it so quickly though.”   
“No, I just...had the time, today, in class, while you all were working.” Ben coughed twice and Rey swore she saw his fingers twitch over her paper. He cleared his throat once more for good measure. “Anyway, I see what you mean about multiple points for the topic. I like what you have about role reversal due to age. It would be interesting to see what came of focusing on that alone, if you’re up for it. I think it’s the strongest lead you have here.”   
Rey heard what he was saying, but was unsure if she was comprehending any of it. The way his lips formed words, how his eyes darted in synchronization over her draft then back up to her, how absolutely minuscule that pen looked clutched between his fingers. The silence indicated that she needed to pretend she’d been paying attention, so she nodded and made direct eye contact. She hadn’t realized it was possible to have eyes that spoke of sweetness, understanding, yet just beyond the melted caramel of that laid black licorice, fierce and unwavering. Pull yourself together, for the love of all things holy. You cannot possibly be this horny.  
“Yeah, cool, I’ll go with that.” She let her smile carry up into her dimples, cheeks surely flushed. “Thank you for the guidance.” She hooked a thumb under a single belt loop, her eyes dropping to investigate it rather than face him as they stood in awkward not yet departure. One breath later and she took a step towards the door.   
Ben knew in this moment, it would be wise to let her walk out of his classroom. He had given her the direction she needed for the assignment. He had done his part. Rey was a smart girl, brilliant, even, and could write her way out of a paper sack. She would probably have come to the conclusion he gave her without his assistance in the first place. Yet here he was, holding her back from walking out and doing God knows what with that Dameron kid, who was nice enough but always too close to her to be just a friend. The fact that he knew this and it pissed him off gave him even more reason to let it be, let her walk home, and yet-  
“Um, look, I just wanted you to have that so you can think about the next draft. I’m still happy to help with the rest of it, after I reread it a little more in depth this time.”   
If she had escaped a blush before, she surely wasn’t now. Rey could feel the heat from her face threatening to smoke from the tips of her ears. Yes she had intended for “tutoring” to go a bit like this in her wildest dreams, but this was real, and it nearly stopped her heart hearing it.   
“Oh! Well, yeah, if you’re willing, I would appreciate it. You don’t have to though. I don’t want to take up your time.” Stupid stupid stupid, DON’T MAKE IT NOT HAPPEN OUT OF POLITE EXCUSES YOU DON’T ACTUALLY MEAN.   
“No, no trouble at all. Actually I was thinking, if it’s not too strange for you-feel free to tell me I’m out of line here-but would it be easier for you to meet at the coffee shop? I’ll probably wind up back there to grade papers anyway, and I know you probably have a hard enough time balancing school and work.” Rey felt the boggle of her eyes like she had seen Poe’s do a million times over and controlled them. Her tongue felt like it weighed a million pounds. Trying to forklift it out of her mouth felt like a useless endeavor. The silence she was struggling to break was wearing on Ben’s nerves. “Unless that’s too weird, I don’t want to infringe on your space-“  
“No! No, I mean, yes, yes you can come to the coffee shop. I work tomorrow afternoon so I’m free in the morning, if that works for you.”   
Kylo would have been throwing sex daggers at this meek prey before him, but Ben was breaking out into a nervous sweat. It always floored him how he could channel an entirely different persona on stage or even behind the scenes as Kylo, yet it seemed impossible to bring that same energy over to plain ole Ben. Maybe the translation would come as the fame rolled in, but he wasn’t holding his breath.   
“Is 9 a.m. a good time?”   
“Definitely. I’ll see what I can scrounge up before then. Thanks again, Ben.” Rey squeaked her goodbye and speed walked out of the classroom. It felt probable that her veins would ignite at any second and turn her to ash. She’d never met with a teacher for office hours outside of their office before. In fact, this almost felt like a date. No, he’s just being considerate. He doesn’t even teach on Fridays. You’re making mountains out of molehills. Rey’s brain ran through arguing in her favor and as her opponent until they both came to the conclusion that the outcome was the same-she would be having coffee with Ben Solo off campus tomorrow morning, discussing her life story and how to write it eloquently. She checked her phone before letting the fire consume her again. The roommate group chat was alive and well, she saw.   
Poe: BITCH. I mean, REY. No, I mean BITCH. WHAT GOES ON.   
Finn: Aren’t you with her right now?   
Poe: Nope, because someone got held back by Swolo ;)   
Rose: Wait, what? Rey, are you in a hostage situation? Do I need to come rescue you and tell him not to keep women behind on their own?   
Poe: Chill with the feminist manifesto, chica. She’s probably wringing out her panties right now.   
Rose: You’re disgusting.   
Finn: You’re immature.   
Poe: Y’all are TOO mature and not fun at all. @Rose she was worried we’d eat without her tho and I told her we wouldn’t, but like...she better HTHU.  
Finn: *insert eye roll* Rey, we won’t eat without you  
Poe: How sweet of MY boyfriend to be on YOUR side, heifer.   
Hux: I swear my phone just dinged no less than seven million times because of these messages. How do I always end up in a group chat?   
Rose: Because you’re part of the gang, sweetness :)   
Finn: Yup, date one of us, date all of us. We don’t make the rules.   
Poe: But that is literally a rule we made up.   
Finn: Who is on whose side again?   
Rey giggled and shot a response back as she headed towards their apartment.   
Rey: Nothing spicy, just talking about my paper, like I told Poe, but of course everything is dirty with him. Also, @Hux, we’ve been over this. You will never escape the group chat. Save me a plate, I’m on the way home. <3  
Rey could smell the garlic bread aroma before she even walked through the front door. Rose was quite the homemaker, always cooking, making, creating. Cleaning was not either of their fortes, but the boys picked up the slack, considering they didn’t technically live there. Rey never had to worry about going hungry or living in filth, all thanks to her friends. Just as Maz had adopted her, she adopted her own siblings. Setting her bag down, she entered the dining area to help Hux set the rest of the table.   
“Hey stranger” he greeted her. Hux went by Hux to everyone except Rose. His first name, Armitage, was a mouthful and no one was quite up for the challenge of potentially mispronouncing it. He was a sweetheart, but based on looks alone, he had the aura of a rich douchebag who could end your college career. He may or may not have acted the part sometimes as well, but Rose was his cornerstone. The lovebirds seemed like a match made in heaven. She gained confidence and strength from him, and his uptight demeanor turned to mush for her. The man is a simp through and through. Rey enjoyed his company, being on the more mellow side herself day to day, but Poe seemed to need more convincing. There was never hostility, but the two never quite clicked. Rose was none the wiser to any judgment that befell her Armie.   
“Hey to you too. It’s been a couple days since you’ve been over.”   
“Yeah, tutoring and homework of my own. I didn’t want to intrude.”   
Rose popped herself into the conversation from her position behind the stove. “Like I told you, you’re never intruding.”   
Rey and Hux exchanged pointed looks as he whispered “yeah, tell that to Poe,” but replied loud enough for Rose to hear “yes, my love.”   
Rey snickered. “Poe is a host unto himself. He likes you plenty, just thinks you’re going to dull Rosie’s spunk.”  
“Doesn’t he also have a less than enthusiastic opinion on that, too? Because I’m pretty sure I almost kicked his ass for that on multiple occasions. Remember game night?”   
“How on Earth could I forget game night? I thought Baltic Avenue was going to be the thing that broke up him and Finn.”  
As if on cue, Finn entered the dining room, arm draped lazily around Poe’s waist. “What are we talking about game night for? I thought that was synonymous with the first rule of Fight Club.”   
“Armie, could you grab the pasta, please? I’ve got the bread.” Hux and Rose brought the dinner selection to the table as everyone took their seats. “I tried a different sauce tonight, guys, so let me know what you think.”   
Poe, mouth full of pasta, took reign of the conversation. “Firstly, Rose, angel, you know the way to my heart is Italian, so this sauce could be dog doo and I’d love every bite.” Finn’s eyebrows narrowed in repulsion at the visual and washed it down with the rest of his water glass. “This being said, the sauce was delish. But I would like to ask Rey about her adventures with Solo today.”   
Rose pointed her direction. “Normally I would tell Poe to lay off, but I’m a little curious myself. He told us about your plea for tutoring.”  
“And the coffee shop” threw in Hux.   
Rey rolled her eyes. “Really, Hux? You too?” A sigh. A recap of her Knights of Ren discussion that morning. A dismissive hand gesture. “It just happened. But the thing in class, that was all Poe’s fault, pushing me like that.” Even before it rolled off her tongue she knew she was lying. Sure his teasing had played a role in it, but she would have found a way to speak to Solo regardless. After all, she had worn the crop top on purpose.   
Finn entered the ring. “So that’s it? You just talked about your paper?”   
“I mean, yeah. He said he gave it a once over in class and told me what direction he thinks I should take it.”   
“And that’s all?” Countered Poe.   
“Well, no. We’re going to meet up tomorrow morning to work on the specifics of it.” She dropped her gaze to the pasta twisting beneath the tines of her fork.   
Rose swallowed a lump of garlic bread before asking “I’m sorry, what? Meeting?”   
“Yeah, he doesn’t teach on Fridays and I don’t work until one, so he’s just going to meet me at the coffee shop. Easier on both of us.”   
The sound that escaped Poe could’ve easily been the most high pitched squeak Rey had ever heard. “Holy SHIT, off campus! Rey, honey, some might consider this a DATE.”   
“It is most certainly NOT!”   
Finn again countered. “But like...are you comfortable with the casualness of it all? Is this a little creepy?”   
Hux, not one to usually contribute in things like these, offered his opinion. “If he weren’t so young and inexperienced with the teaching world, I would think creep. But he’s Dean Organa’s son and she would skin him herself if she thought he was being inappropriate, so I don’t worry about that. Rey, are you uncomfortable being off campus with him talking about your paper?”   
“Not in the slightest.”   
Rose narrowed her gaze at her bff. “Crush for him aside, you feel the same?”  
“Yes. I appreciate the concern, guys, truly, but it’s just a matter of convenience for both of us. I wouldn’t want to spend my day off on campus either.”   
“My only concern is you embarrassing yourself in front of Swolo.” With that, Poe finished off his beer and scooped a second helping onto his plate. The group found other topics to dissect, but Rey’s mind was now racing. Was this inappropriate? Was she digging herself into a hole she’d never come out of? More importantly, was Ben being generous and considerate by offering to meet at the coffee shop, or was she too naive to catch onto something more-the potential that her comments had been received and interpreted the way she intended but never thought was an actual option? 

—————————————

Ben laid his laptop on a table in the coffee shop. The one he chose was close enough to the back of the place so he and Rey would have privacy to discuss her paper, but out in the open enough to not look shady. He reminded himself that the only shady looking part of this was the fact that he kept thinking of ways to make it not shady, and tried to shake it all clear of his mind like an Etch-A-Sketch. You have no right to be nervous, he repeated to himself. You are a professor. She is your student. This is tutoring. Her fascination with slightly erotic conversation pieces is coincidental at best. Repeating this did nothing to convince him of what he was saying.   
He had marked up her first draft overnight so he’d know what to discuss with her regarding the paper. Each line Ben read made him increasingly aware of how intelligent Rey was. She’d downplayed herself in thinking this was a scatterbrained piece; with a little editing and guidance, it could be magnificent. The barista called his name to pick up his vanilla coffee and he wolfed half of it down before Rey ever stepped foot in the building. But just like that, there she was. Her hair was hanging just above her shoulders, straight with slight curl to the ends. Black leggings accentuated her bottom half, a white button up dress shirt, unbuttoned and blowsy, showing the baby pink lace camisole underneath. The shirt may have been oversized, but that cami hugged her figure, petite yet strong, curve and bend. Her makeup seemed a little more intricate than usual. Ben waved her over then peeled his eyes away, not wanting to find any more convincing reasons he might be nursing a small crush.   
Rey took the seat opposite her professor. “Good morning, Ben.” He was the one who’d given her permission-nay, asked her to use his first name, but it still gave her butterflies. Not only that, but the way he was sitting in front of her looking less like an authority figure and more of a regular man. She sized him up the same way he had done to her seconds before. Solo was in a burgundy t-shirt and dark wash denim jeans that hugged his thighs and calves in all the right ways. His arms were more muscular than she’d ever imagined. Again her attention was drawn to how tiny everything looked when he held them in his massive hands. The coffee cup stood no chance against his lengthy digits. She was pulled out of her trance by Ben clearing his throat.   
“Good morning, Rey. So, I read through your paper again and-actually, do you want to get yourself a drink before we launch into this? I was rude and already got mine, sorry.”   
“No, you’re fine! Poe will be clocking in here shortly and he’ll bring me something so I don’t have to go behind the counter.”   
Ben was quick to shake the disapproving look off his face at the mention of Poe. Student. Teacher. Job description. Get a hold of yourself. “Oh, awesome. Well, anyways, like I was saying, I want to start by telling you you’re a gifted writer. Honestly, I think you just have SO much detail you want to put in here that you’re psyching yourself out, but you really invested in the prompt.”   
“You’re too kind.” Rey blushed and tucked her hair behind her ear. “I don’t know how to focus on one thing though. Like you said, there’s so much detail. I know I need to cut some of it, but deciding what to cut is not my strong suit.”   
“Lucky for you, I happen to have my degree in this sort of thing, so I can help.” A smile touched his lips that grew bigger as Rey giggled.   
The pair chatted over predicate and adjectives, paragraph direction, and margin notes he’d scribbled until Poe rushed over to the table. In his hand he had a caramel latte with extra drizzle, Rey’s choice drink when being indulgent. Upon realizing who was looming next to her, Rey anticipated certain humiliation, but instead found a calm and collected demeanor, one she was unfamiliar with in Poe.   
“Good morning, Rey, Mr.Solo.” Poe smiled and placed the drink in front of her.   
Rey eyed him apprehensively. “Good morning, Poeseph. Thank you for the beverage.”   
“You KNOW I hate when you call me that. I regret adding that extra shot in there for you now.”   
“That’s exactly why I said it, Poeseph. I appreciate your contribution.” She halfheartedly cheers’ed her coffee in his direction.   
Ben listened to them interact and felt a twinge that he wouldn’t label jealousy-not yet at least, not while he was in denial.He desperately wanted Poe to go back to work and knew the best chance he had of that was inserting himself into the conversation.   
“Mr.Dameron, I got to read your paper last night and it was very refreshing. Not at all the subject matter I anticipated, which was great.”   
“Well thank you, sir. I actually tried this time. Amazing what a difference that makes.”   
Rey scowled. “What’s with you today? You’re not your usual annoying self.”   
He’s plenty annoying, thought Ben. Poe rolled his eyes and licked his lips before proceeding.   
“Our sweet Finn informed me that I may sometimes play around too much and that I was not to do so today where you were concerned.” Rey nervously sipped her coffee.   
“Oh, that Finn. He did seem a little uppity this morning before I left the house. I guess he was prepping to lecture you.”   
Ben’s ears perked up. “Do you two live together?”   
“Yes and no” chimed Rey. “My friend Rose and I rent the place, but we have pests we call friends that live there more than us.”   
“I see.” Ben resumed sipping the drink in front of him.   
“Anyways, I’ll let you two get back to it,” Poe said. “Let me know if you need refills.”   
Rey waited for him to get a decent distance away before addressing Ben. “Sorry about him. He seemed to be on his best behavior today, but still.”   
“I didn’t expect him to just drop your coffee and leave without saying hello.” He offered her a shy smile of encouragement, to insist that he didn’t mind the intrusion.   
“You know Finn, right? Poe’s boyfriend? I think he takes a class with you. He’s a year above me. I guess he’s working with him on his annoying habits.”  
Boyfriend? Boyfriend not of hers, but of Poe’s! Again, student, teacher, job description, CONTROL YOURSELF. “I think I know who you’re talking about, but no, not in my classes. Seems like he has quite a task, working with Poe.”  
Rey was far more comfortable talking to Solo than she anticipated. Between the talk of her home life and how college was going (all for the sake of her essay, of course) she felt like she was talking to a dear friend. This was also doing wonders for her attraction to him, being that she now felt as though it would be less painful to take a Razor scooter to the ankle than to leave this table with him later on.   
“I give Poe a hard time because he gives me one and that’s how we show our love, but he’s a great friend. He irritates me like an older brother, but also protects like one. I never grew up with siblings. Little did I know I’d come to college and make friends that make me feel like I have a big family. Poe is literally the male version of myself. Well, more outgoing, but the sentiment stands.”   
“You don’t think you’re outgoing?” Asked Ben.   
“Not as much as Poe.”   
“What about at all? I mean, you’ve written this paper about scrapping your way through life as an only adopted child, getting into UPenn, learning how to mother your own mother while branching out on your own. Now you tell me how you quite literally adopted your own family, which completes the circle. How could you not think that makes you outgoing?”   
“What do you mean by ‘completes the circle?’”   
Ben pointed to a note in the margins of her draft. “Well, I wrote a question here, but talking to you today has answered it for me. You’re becoming your mother by taking care of her. She took you in when she didn’t have to. She raised you when you needed her and now you’re doing the same because she needs you. She made a family where there was none, and now you’ve done the same by ‘adopting’ your friends as siblings. You’ve completed the circle as child, caregiver, and investor.”   
Rey considered his insight. Here he was, a man who previously knew nothing of her life, opening her eyes to things she’d never seen. He hadn’t only listened to her ramblings, he had noted them, tucked them away in his mind for later use. Ben was reading her like he’d known her forever, and she was floored by how deeply connected she felt to him because of it.   
“I’d never thought of it like that before. Though most women would’ve berated you for comparing them to their mother.”   
Ben smirked. “My apologies. However, I think in your brain, being compared to your mother is quite a compliment. You seem to hold her in very high regard.”   
“Like you said, she didn’t have to do anything for me. I was orphaned and destined to be alone, but she made sure that didn’t happen. As if that weren’t enough, she worked her ass off to give me more than the bare minimum. She stayed up through the night with me on multiple occasions to help me with homework and college applications. There’s no universe where I end up here without her help, so I wouldn’t have my education or my friends. I could be on an entirely different path if it weren’t for her. How could I ever repay that?”   
The vulnerability in her voice shattered Ben’s resolve. Here in front of him sat this gorgeous brunette pouring her heart out to him like it was nothing. But therein lied the problem-it was something. He knew it wasn’t easy for her to divulge the hardships of her life. He knew she had to be comfortable with him or she wouldn’t have dug that deep. He also knew his heart was pounding in his chest thinking of how he wanted to comfort her and thank her for her trust in him by reaching for her hand, but caught himself before he did so. Ben was unfamiliar with the feeling he was faced with and chalked it up to how personal the conversation had gotten.   
“Anyways, let me stop.” Rey laughed and wiped the beginnings of a teardrop from the corner of her eye. “Thank you for letting me rant.”   
“Thank you for ranting.”   
With that, Ben arched his back in the chair and stretched his limbs, first popping his neck to either side, then tossing his arms in the air. Rey was admiring the view of the Adonis-like turned cat-like creature in front of her when she noticed thick black ink on the underneath side of his right arm.   
“This may be wildly inappropriate of me to ask, but what is your tattoo?”   
Ben glanced down at the ink as if making sure it were still there. He plopped his arm across the table, bottom side up so she could see the emblem.It resembled a shield with a strangely mechanical looking sun in the middle and took up most of the space of his arm above the elbow. It was a common symbol in the Knights of Ren fandom, their own little logo doodled by the very man with it tattooed.   
“I got it to celebrate the start of something, something I’d wanted to do for a very long time but never thought would come to fruition. Even if it never became permanent, this would always be.” He shrugged, as if it weren’t the defining moment of his life, getting Knights of Ren signed to a record label. Considering the even bigger success of the tour and growth in popularity, he knew he’d made the right decision. Still he watched Rey’s face apprehensively as she tried to figure out why it looked familiar.   
“It’s a unique design. I like it. You’d never know you have ink with all the long sleeves you wear.”  
“That’s the point.” Ben offered her a wink that sent her heart fluttering, and if he were being honest, his too.   
“But how will everyone know you’re actually a cool, laid-back hipster?”   
“I’ll keep them guessing. It’s more fun that way.”   
The two shared more coffee and conversation until the moment finally came where Rey had to clock in for work. Ben left her with the marked up first draft they’d poured their souls into and departed. Both felt the spark ignite in their bellies from the connection they’d forged simply over an essay topic, and both pretended it didn’t exist, but this was the beginning of the tethering, of the tiny red thread spinning them closer and closer until they collided.


End file.
